Hey guys… It’s me, Melanin… I know I haven’t been around lately, but I’m here now. That’s the important part, right?
Life has been kicking my butt lately, and I just needed a moment to gather what’s left of my existence and move on. I know I talk a lot about self-love and consistency and schedules and being your best self, etc; but wouldn’t I be more credible having experienced the things I talk about? Wouldn’t my advice make way more sense knowing that I’ve tried and failed and tried again?
I’ve been slacking on all fronts lately, totally ignoring my schedules and feeling totally inept. My business ventures have all taken a seat due to my lack of creativity lately. I haven’t been able to get out of this funk that I’ve been in for the last few months. Nothing I produce seems to be good enough (in my eyes), so I haven’t been sharing what I’ve been working on either. My main Instagram account has been getting the most use as I’ve been mom-ing to keep some semblance of a social media presence.
For example — the kids and I went to the zoo yesterday (Wed 08/08). I took about a million pictures and posted them to my story. I know I don’t have a wide array of followers but it still felt good to show my kids enjoying themselves. We had fun despite the heat, crowd, and several closed attractions. And it was my youngest daughter’s first trip to the zoo. So it was a bit sentimental as well. Seeing her little face light up at the sight of all the animals, brought joy to my heart. I wish I still had that innocence about life.
But instead, I’m back to the daily hustle and bustle of my everyday life. Working at a job that doesn’t stimulate me mentally or emotionally. Dealing with the realization that my businesses will never take flight if I continue on this current path of lackluster performance. Don’t get me wrong, I have great ideas and a strong plan to turn these ideas into life-changing opportunities; but I get so discouraged because I am constantly comparing myself to the next person. And I have a bad habit of losing sight of my end goal when things don’t go as planned.
But I say all of this to say, I’ve still been going. My progress may be slow but it has never stopped. Fake it til you make it, or as I say, Mom it out. Moms have this special type of resiliency that allows us to keep our families alive and kicking despite all obstacles in our way. It’s our superpower. So I’ve been working on applying that power to every other aspect of life. Despite the obstacles — external and internal — I will continue to move forward and you can to. When in doubt, mom it out!
Keep your heads up, it will all be worth it in the end.