Showering with My Toddler: A Fundamental Mom-cessity!!!

Hey guys. As you can tell from the title, this post is about mom necessities or mom-cessities as I like to call them. This will be the first of a series of posts geared towards moms and ways to make our lives easier.

I’ve recently gotten into a heated discussion about this topic with a group of moms, two of which agreed while the third disagreed so strongly, there was steam blowing out of her ears (see what I did there, lol). Now, we all agreed that mothers are the most over-worked and under-appreciated individuals on Earth. We all even agreed that mothers either need more hands, or more hours in our days to ensure that everything on our to-do lists got done. The disagreement began when one of the moms mentioned that she showers with her 1-year old to save time.

Mom #2 and I immediately started laughing as we both do the same. My youngest is 18 months and very attached to me. Showering with her just makes our bedtime ritual run more smoothly — less crying, less trips to the bathroom, more time for the inevitable “I’m not tired” song and dance before she actually falls asleep. Mom #3, on the other hand, couldn’t hide the disgust from her face. She started her explanation by stating that she didn’t intend to offend any of us with her opinion. She stated that showering with our children was just lazy and that as mothers, we should never be taking the easy way out.

Pausing the story for a second…don’t we all cut corners to maximize on time in some aspect of our lives? I mean, shortcuts to get somewhere faster are still a thing, right? Back to the discussion.

Mom #3 expressed that we were “stripping” our children of their innocence because we were “exposing” them to our adult body parts and our adult germs. And she made sure to emphasize the quoted words as if to insinuate that we were being inappropriate with our children. I was offended by her entire rant and proceeded to let her know why.

For starters, I grew this tiny human inside of my adult body. I gave birth to her and breastfed her (still do by the way). Half of her DNA comes from me. So exposing her to my adult body and adult germs are a non-factor. I am her teacher, her provider, and her role model; her first friend, her confidant, and her protector. As long as I am fulfilling these roles, keeping her safety in mind, then I’ve done my job correctly as her mother. For {you} to insinuate or clearly state anything different, tells me more about you and your thought process than it does me and mine.

Mom #3 apologized to the group for the way she stated her opinion. After taking a few moments to cool down, we all agreed to disagree and to move on from this touchy topic.

To wrap up this winded post, we are all entitled to our opinions and mom-shaming is so unnecessary. No two moms are raising their kids exactly the same and that is ok. Showering with my little one allows us to save time while getting ready for bed; and yes, my kids and I skip morning showers (unless absolutely necessary) so that we can get a few extra minutes of sleep. Judge me if you want to, but only if your family is perfect.

Until next time…





When In Doubt, Mom It Out

Hey guys… It’s me, Melanin… I know I haven’t been around lately, but I’m here now. That’s the important part, right?

Life has been kicking my butt lately, and I just needed a moment to gather what’s left of my existence and move on. I know I talk a lot about self-love and consistency and schedules and being your best self, etc; but wouldn’t I be more credible having experienced the things I talk about? Wouldn’t my advice make way more sense knowing that I’ve tried and failed and tried again?

I’ve been slacking on all fronts lately, totally ignoring my schedules and feeling totally inept. My business ventures have all taken a seat due to my lack of creativity lately. I haven’t been able to get out of this funk that I’ve been in for the last few months. Nothing I produce seems to be good enough (in my eyes), so I haven’t been sharing what I’ve been working on either. My main Instagram account has been getting the most use as I’ve been mom-ing to keep some semblance of a social media presence.

For example — the kids and I went to the zoo yesterday (Wed 08/08). I took about a million pictures and posted them to my story. I know I don’t have a wide array of followers but it still felt good to show my kids enjoying themselves. We had fun despite the heat, crowd, and several closed attractions. And it was my youngest daughter’s first trip to the zoo. So it was a bit sentimental as well. Seeing her little face light up at the sight of all the animals, brought joy to my heart. I wish I still had that innocence about life.

But instead, I’m back to the daily hustle and bustle of my everyday life. Working at a job that doesn’t stimulate me mentally or emotionally. Dealing with the realization that my businesses will never take flight if I continue on this current path of lackluster performance. Don’t get me wrong, I have great ideas and a strong plan to turn these ideas into life-changing opportunities; but I get so discouraged because I am constantly comparing myself to the next person. And I have a bad habit of losing sight of my end goal when things don’t go as planned.

But I say all of this to say, I’ve still been going. My progress may be slow but it has never stopped. Fake it til you make it, or as I say, Mom it out. Moms have this special type of resiliency that allows us to keep our families alive and kicking despite all obstacles in our way. It’s our superpower. So I’ve been working on applying that power to every other aspect of life. Despite the obstacles — external and internal — I will continue to move forward and you can to. When in doubt, mom it out!

Keep your heads up, it will all be worth it in the end.