Same Blog, New Host.

Hey guys, Melanin here. It’s been a few weeks since my last post, the Domestic Violence PSA, and I wanted to give myself some time to cool after getting that off my chest. I realize that a lot of people don’t discuss domestic violence openly until it’s too late, so I wanted to share my story to possibly help someone going through it. Domestic violence isn’t always physical abuse, so read up on it and know the signs.

For today’s post, I just wanted to share that Dear Melanin is now being hosted by WordPress. As the title states, it’s still the same blog; we’ve just moved to a new home. I’m working out some kinks and customizing the blog (all over again) to suit my fancy. Hopefully, all of that will be worked out by the end of this week so that we can move forward peacefully. Lol.

I am gearing up to quit my job and be a full time homemaker. Super excited for this new chapter in my life and I look forward to sharing my successes and failures with you guys. I’m also working on my store website Melanin Makes. Hoping to launch that April 1st, but we all know things don’t always happen when we want them to.

For my loyal blog followers, check out my next post for a coupon code. It will probably be for free shipping or a percentage off your entire order. Until then, have the type of day you deserve.

XOXO,

MELANIN 🌺🌺

When In Doubt, Mom It Out

Hey guys… It’s me, Melanin… I know I haven’t been around lately, but I’m here now. That’s the important part, right?

Life has been kicking my butt lately, and I just needed a moment to gather what’s left of my existence and move on. I know I talk a lot about self-love and consistency and schedules and being your best self, etc; but wouldn’t I be more credible having experienced the things I talk about? Wouldn’t my advice make way more sense knowing that I’ve tried and failed and tried again?

I’ve been slacking on all fronts lately, totally ignoring my schedules and feeling totally inept. My business ventures have all taken a seat due to my lack of creativity lately. I haven’t been able to get out of this funk that I’ve been in for the last few months. Nothing I produce seems to be good enough (in my eyes), so I haven’t been sharing what I’ve been working on either. My main Instagram account has been getting the most use as I’ve been mom-ing to keep some semblance of a social media presence.

For example — the kids and I went to the zoo yesterday (Wed 08/08). I took about a million pictures and posted them to my story. I know I don’t have a wide array of followers but it still felt good to show my kids enjoying themselves. We had fun despite the heat, crowd, and several closed attractions. And it was my youngest daughter’s first trip to the zoo. So it was a bit sentimental as well. Seeing her little face light up at the sight of all the animals, brought joy to my heart. I wish I still had that innocence about life.

But instead, I’m back to the daily hustle and bustle of my everyday life. Working at a job that doesn’t stimulate me mentally or emotionally. Dealing with the realization that my businesses will never take flight if I continue on this current path of lackluster performance. Don’t get me wrong, I have great ideas and a strong plan to turn these ideas into life-changing opportunities; but I get so discouraged because I am constantly comparing myself to the next person. And I have a bad habit of losing sight of my end goal when things don’t go as planned.

But I say all of this to say, I’ve still been going. My progress may be slow but it has never stopped. Fake it til you make it, or as I say, Mom it out. Moms have this special type of resiliency that allows us to keep our families alive and kicking despite all obstacles in our way. It’s our superpower. So I’ve been working on applying that power to every other aspect of life. Despite the obstacles — external and internal — I will continue to move forward and you can to. When in doubt, mom it out!

Keep your heads up, it will all be worth it in the end.

XOXO,

Melanin

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The Path to Success is Paved with Schedules.

Hey guys, Melanin here.

If you’ve been rocking with me since the beginning, you know that I am horrible at scheduling. I basically plan out my days, weeks and months, then I end up just winging everything anyway. My follow through is so bad that I’m ashamed of it.

So this post is to hold myself accountable and to give you guys 3 simple pointers to get you on the right track.

Tip #1: Get a planner or some other form of calendar.

We all have smartphones, tablets, iPods, smart watches, laptops, desktops, etc. that have calendars. But do we use them to their full potential? Having a physical book planner, a desk calendar, or even a dry erase calendar allows you to write everything down in a single location that can easily be viewed without unlocking a device and possibly being distracted by social media or that text you meant to respond to yesterday. It has also been said that writing something down helps you remember it. I believe there is some truth to that.

Tip #2: Give yourself reasonable deadlines.

Only you know how long it will take you to finish tasks on your to-do list; so give yourself a realistic deadline to complete these items on your list. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to fit a weeks worth of list items into a day or two, but don’t allow your procrastinator’s brain allow you to give yourself a month to finish something that should be done in 2 days. Keep in mind the day to day things you have to get done as well, for example: getting the kids to and from school, cooking dinner, exercising, work, grocery shopping, calling your best friend, checking in on family, amongst other things.

Tip #3: Stick to your deadlines.

My biggest failure in blogging and life in general is my follow through. I procrastinate or forget to handle certain things, then it comes back to bite me later on down the line. But do I change my ways…..not until now. Lol. Hold yourself accountable when you don’t complete a task in the time allotted. This will help increase your discipline as well as give you some insight into how realistic your timelines are.

With all of that being said, I’m not suggesting you plan out every minute of your day for the next weeks. I’m simply saying that I’m not the only person who has a few goals she wants to achieve, but can’t find her way to the finish line because I keep stumbling over wasted days and forgotten steps.

Having a dry erase calendar above my desk at work allows me to remember payroll deadlines, enrollment dates and times, as well as what days I won’t be able to come in because of doctor appointments, etc. I also have a personal planner that I use to write down due dates for my bills, goals that I’d like to achieve for the month (getting my license, purchasing a new pair of glasses). Anything I don’t complete during the month gets transferred over to the next month’s lineup. Because I haven’t been holding myself accountable, I still don’t have my license or a new pair of glasses (I’m currently wearing contacts but still want a backup pair in case of an emergency). I’ve been working — I use that word very liberally — on these two goals since February. I have yet to schedule my 5-hour class, nor have I gone to my local optometrist to order a new pair of glasses.

But hear me, I declare it right now…I will get my driver’s license before Summer ’18 begins and my glasses will be purchased by May 12th.

Now go forth and be great. Follow through, be disciplined and succeed in every aspect of your life. Your goals are within reach, you just have to grab them.

XOXO,

Melanin.