Santa Claus is A Fraud: Should We Spill The Beans About Santa & Other Childhood Myths

As Xmas is quickly approaching, I’ve noticed a lot of conversations regarding ways to reduce holiday stress, i.e decorations, hosting parties/ dinners, gifts, gifts, and more gifts. Among these discussions, I have also seen mentions of parents who have ruined Xmas for their children by revealing that “Santa Claus is not real!”

Some parents choose to build and maintain the ruse of Santa to stick with the norms of society, only breaking the ‘traiditon’ when it is no longer socially acceptable for their children to believe in him. For the parents that choose to tell the truth early on, they receive backlash and criticism from every corner of the internet.

From an early age, I was taught that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, etc. were just tools to create excitement around holidays and hold onto childhood innocence. This is not a bad thing. I am all for keeping our children innocent for as long as humanly possible; because in this day and age, they are growing up way to fast and being exposed to the harsh realities of life before they are old enough to properly handle it. But on the other hand, why is it okay to continue lying to our children on such a grand scale?

I read an article from mindful.org titled The Holiday Lies We Tell Our Children (12/6/2016) and it explained that these ‘characters’ aren’t lies because communication isn’t black and white. I agree with this statement to a certain extent. Parents don’t intend to lie to their children by passing down traditions and stories that were passed down to them. We also don’t see them as lies because society keeps up the ruse for us. I mean, there are hardworking individuals dressed as Santa in every mall to take pictures with; dressed as the Easter Bunny for parties & egg hunts; and how many parents sneak teeth from under their kid(s) pillow to replace it with money or small toys to keep up the charade?

The article goes on to say that allowing kids to come to the conclusion that Santa, the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny aren’t real on their own is a right of passage; which means that they’ve now stepped into the adult realm of thinking and can now assist with keeping the ruse alive for younger siblings, etc. This idea is great in theory, but what happens if your kid finds out these ‘holiday heroes’ aren’t real and it completely shatters their sense of identity? How do you help them work through that?

And for the families who can’t purchase tons of gifts — do they explain why Santa couldn’t get everything/anything on their list (another lie to cover up the original lie) or do they skip bills, borrow money from others, steal, etc. to ensure their kid(s) get the same Xmas as all the other kids at school — who will inevitably share and compare gifts when school resumes?

Continuing this ‘scam’ just makes thing worse in the end, for all parties involved (in my opinion). The children grow up to be fragile adults with trust issues who become estranged from their parents. An extreme example, I know; but why risk the possibility? Not to mention that you’re giving credit to someone else for your hardwork.

I’m the one who worked my ass off to buy these gifts; I’m the one who stayed up until you were in a deep enough sleep to trade your teeny-tiny baby tooth for a dollar coin or some other little trinket; I’m the one who painstakingly filled the little eggs with candy and toys and then carefully placed said eggs in just-out-of-sight spots to make the hunt fun but not obvious. If that makes me a bad mom, then I embrace that title with all my heart. My kids will not fall for the hype, but I promise to keep my kids from shattering your kids fake reality.

Until next time,

Melanin

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Showering with My Toddler: A Fundamental Mom-cessity!!!

Hey guys. As you can tell from the title, this post is about mom necessities or mom-cessities as I like to call them. This will be the first of a series of posts geared towards moms and ways to make our lives easier.

I’ve recently gotten into a heated discussion about this topic with a group of moms, two of which agreed while the third disagreed so strongly, there was steam blowing out of her ears (see what I did there, lol). Now, we all agreed that mothers are the most over-worked and under-appreciated individuals on Earth. We all even agreed that mothers either need more hands, or more hours in our days to ensure that everything on our to-do lists got done. The disagreement began when one of the moms mentioned that she showers with her 1-year old to save time.

Mom #2 and I immediately started laughing as we both do the same. My youngest is 18 months and very attached to me. Showering with her just makes our bedtime ritual run more smoothly — less crying, less trips to the bathroom, more time for the inevitable “I’m not tired” song and dance before she actually falls asleep. Mom #3, on the other hand, couldn’t hide the disgust from her face. She started her explanation by stating that she didn’t intend to offend any of us with her opinion. She stated that showering with our children was just lazy and that as mothers, we should never be taking the easy way out.

Pausing the story for a second…don’t we all cut corners to maximize on time in some aspect of our lives? I mean, shortcuts to get somewhere faster are still a thing, right? Back to the discussion.

Mom #3 expressed that we were “stripping” our children of their innocence because we were “exposing” them to our adult body parts and our adult germs. And she made sure to emphasize the quoted words as if to insinuate that we were being inappropriate with our children. I was offended by her entire rant and proceeded to let her know why.

For starters, I grew this tiny human inside of my adult body. I gave birth to her and breastfed her (still do by the way). Half of her DNA comes from me. So exposing her to my adult body and adult germs are a non-factor. I am her teacher, her provider, and her role model; her first friend, her confidant, and her protector. As long as I am fulfilling these roles, keeping her safety in mind, then I’ve done my job correctly as her mother. For {you} to insinuate or clearly state anything different, tells me more about you and your thought process than it does me and mine.

Mom #3 apologized to the group for the way she stated her opinion. After taking a few moments to cool down, we all agreed to disagree and to move on from this touchy topic.

To wrap up this winded post, we are all entitled to our opinions and mom-shaming is so unnecessary. No two moms are raising their kids exactly the same and that is ok. Showering with my little one allows us to save time while getting ready for bed; and yes, my kids and I skip morning showers (unless absolutely necessary) so that we can get a few extra minutes of sleep. Judge me if you want to, but only if your family is perfect.

Until next time…

XOXO,

Melanin